“What if I could thrive?” - Emily Leukhardt

Guest Blog by Emily Leukhardt

I’ve been working with Christina for almost a year now. During this time, I have been exposed to many different types of her methods, and I’ve even been lucky enough to become trained in HeartMath®. I have seen many people benefit and even transform under her care. I just figured that wasn’t due for me. I am not a client. 

That is, until one day, Christina turns to me and says, “You’ve been with me for how long? A year? I think it’s a good time to ask you this question: Where do you want to go?”

I looked at her, felt my brow furrow, and was confused. What did she mean? Was I supposed to be going somewhere? I came to work every day. I gave her updates on our projects. Did I miss something?

So I asked her, “What?”

She smiled and stopped typing and looked me square in the eye.

“What do you want? What are your plans? How do you see your future?”

Now I was starting to verge on panic mode. I was stymied. I didn’t know. I mean, first things that come to mind are the basics: financial stability, a comfortable home, food on the table. Isn’t that what everyone is working for?

So I answered, haltingly, “Financial independence?”

Christina closed her computer and picked up a notebook. “Come here, sit with me. Bring a notebook.” 

We crossed over to the overstuffed couch in the waiting area of the Sin Miedo center, plopped down, afternoon sunlight streaming through the windows. I opened my notebook, clicked my pen, and waited.

12 Things you want from your heart

“I want you to write down 12 things that you want. 12 things you can picture yourself having, in detail, no matter how selfish it feels. No detail is too small. It can be anything, big or small. Just write 12 things that you want, from your heart.”

Ok, I thought to myself. That shouldn’t be too hard. I want things all the time. Walking down the street, I see a nice leather jacket in a window I would lust after. But that felt frivolous. Things from the heart – -that doesn’t include clothes, does it? She said it could be selfish. I’m not good with being selfish, though. Maybe I should put down something about ending homelessness?

Christina could see these thoughts running through my head. After a year, she knows me pretty well.

“Don’t write down “world peace” or anything like that. This is for you, and you alone. BE SELFISH!”

Alright then. I sighed. I guess this is going to be a lot harder than I thought! 

Selfish. The word swirled in my mind. Selfish. What do I want? Really? I have what I need to survive. But what if I could want more than that? More than survival.

What if I could thrive?

The first couple things came easily: my own house, my own car. I showed these to Christina. 

“Good,” she said. “Now get specific. What is your house made out of? Where is it? What color is your car? Where are you driving it?” 

Ok, I was getting it now! I need to see what I want in my mind. Hold the image. Describe it. House and car. I got those; it was fun! Like imagining myself winning the lottery.

But after the first few, I was stumped yet again. How did I describe number 11: “Fall asleep without medication.”? 

“Picture what success would look like,” Christina advised. “Would you tell someone about it? Who? And what would you say.”

I quickly learned this list was more than just asking for something from Santa for Christmas. This list was to represent anything that I wanted to implement to change my life. It was abstract, yet at the same time, extremely tangible. This list was a tool to move me beyond my daily goal of survival. This list was to dig deep into what I really wanted. It could define who I really am. It isn’t selfish; it’s growth. As someone who is deeply uncomfortable discussing my own needs, the list really challenged my way of thinking. 

I am not 100% finished with the list yet. I am finding it much easier to focus on it deeply for several minutes a day, rather than forcing myself to put all my energy in at once. I would say I am 80% done, and yet, just this morning, one of the things on my list came to me! It wasn’t huge or life-changing, but it was exactly something I needed to improve my daily self-confidence. It was on the list! Now there’s an empty spot…

What will I fill it with next?

Intrigued? You should be!

Click here to learn more about the benefits of The List and to download instructions for YOUR list now.

The guide for The List comes with a scientific explanation that explains why this technique works so well. I promise that you will love the changes The List brings to your life.

With care, Christina